"So... What Do You Do?"

Hmm... good question.

That is of course the question you always get when you move somewhere new.  Always tentative, hesitant, not really sure if they are asking the right thing, "So... what do you do?"

Boy, that is a difficult one for me this move.  Mostly because of my own uncertainty.  What do I tell them?  Which of my part time jobs and projects do I mention?

I teach an astronomy class online through Northern Virginia Community College (and I love it!).  It gives me a chance to share the fascinating big-picture parts of astronomy with students of all ages and interests, some degree-seeking, some not.  Obviously online teaching is not ideal, I would much rather teach in person, but this is a job that I can continue no matter where or when we move.  And if motivated and interested, people really do learn in an online class.  I find teaching to be hugely rewarding and satisfying (though adjunct faculty at a community college might as well be volunteer work as it definitely does not pay enough to survive on).

I also paint.  I mostly do figures and landscapes in oil on canvas (and I love it!).  Painting is something that I have always enjoyed doing, and I have taken classes and commissioned jobs when the opportunities arose.  With each painting I do, I find myself planning a dozen more.  I am constantly growing and learning with each piece.  So sometimes I answer the difficult question of what I "do" with "I am an artist".  But not often, because I am now somewhere between the painting-as-a-hobby and professional-painter.  That weird in-between phase where it feels a little funny saying this whole new career title and not mentioning my history with space and science.  (But don't worry, I have plans to combine the two in the future!)

And I am enjoying time at home with Calvin while he is young.  It makes pre-school drop-off and pick-up and days-off for holidays and illness so much easier if you are not juggling two parents' work schedules.  And I honestly just don't want to miss out on this unique part of our lives - Calvin will be our only child, so this is my only chance to have this job.  And I embrace it eagerly!

Calvin and I are on the metro, riding into DC for another exploring adventure.  July 25, 2014

Regardless, I had a hard time getting over the feeling when talking with other people that I needed to make up for my lack of a full-time job by rattling off my part time jobs and past experience like some sort of walking resume.  I guess I worried that people might secretly dismiss me as ordinary or boring or not liberated enough if I didn't explain.  But these were issues that I needed to deal with within myself.  Because despite the feelings of self-doubt and worry about career path mistakes and difficulty answering this simple question, despite the drudgery of housework and chores and errands, I am really very happy with what I do.

Who knows what my answer will be in the future.  For now, I am totally okay with my list. 

Moving, Settling-In to Our New Home in Virginia

 Ah moving.  How I am so tired of you!

Our moving truck (with one or two other houses of stuff traveling with ours to Virginia), getting ready to load up in Alabama.  June 20, 2014

Another big truck, everything in boxes, move-out cleaning, long drives, move-in cleaning, box deliveries and unpacking and starting over.  New neighbors, classmates, coworkers.  New doctors, babysitters, dogsitters, veterinary clinic, pharmacist, car mechanic, hair dresser, grocery stores, farmers markets, gyms, playgrounds, favorite restaurants.  New landlords, HOAs, local politics.  New streets to learn, schedules to adjust to, rhythm of daily life to figure out...again.  So we adjust.  We figure it out and get on with our lives and try not to be too overwhelmed.

The basement full of boxes and furnature in our home in Alexandria, VA.  June 26, 2014

My mom came to help us unpack in Virginia.  June 26, 2014

Really, though, I don't mind moving so much.  At least not once we get settled in.  It is fun exploring new places, and I know our country a lot better having lived across much of it.  We have friends all over the country who come from different backgrounds, have different view points, and enrich our lives in many ways.   

One of my potted rose bushes (from clippings taken of my grandfather's roses a few years ago) bloomed DURING the move - literally in the car while driving from Alabama to Virginia.  It is a little reminder to bloom where we are planted and make the best of any situation.

But overwhelmed does happen.  Right around day 2 or 3 of unpacking, when my legs and arms are bruised from bumping into dozens of sturdy boxes, when all you have done for days is unpack and still boxes loom in every room, it feels overwhelming.  Or the time I started crying in the middle of a crowded room at one of Bryan's work events after trying to explain to a complete stranger why I don't have a full-time job weeks after moving.  Or the numerous times that I've turned onto the wrong highway, heading in some unknown direction in DC, not sure really where I was or what direction I need to be going (thank goodness for GPS!).  Or the many, many times that I worry about my career, possible missed opportunities, gaps in my employment...  I get overwhelmed.

That is when it helps to have Bryan who is calm and patient and can see a path through the mess.  And to have Calvin, who finds adventure and fun in the simplest things (empty boxes and new neighborhood sidewalks, for example).  It also helped this move to have family that came to visit, and friends who listened.  We are settled in now, though stubbornly not all unpacked.  Three areas still remain, stuff piled on the floor (because I couldn't stand the sight of the boxes, but wasn't able to actually organize that area at the time), pictures stacked against the wall, months after moving in.  We are functional, even able to entertain guests (so long as they don't go up to the loft or down in the basement).  I'll get to it one of these days...

Aunt Debbie (left) and Grandma Donna (right) helped Calvin (center) and I explore some of the local nature centers in the Alexandria area.  Huntley Meadows Park, July 24, 2014.

Aunt Debbie, Calvin, and mom inside the Botanical Gardens museum in Washington, DC.  July 28, 2014

Grandpa Mike on our back deck (notice how close it is to our neighbor's back deck).  August 2, 2014

So here we are, living in Alexandria, Virginia.  On the outskirts of DC but still within the metro system.  Townhouse-central.  We have 4 floors and no backyard and lots of friendly neighbors.  Dogs are everywhere.  Our two old-men pups (Deuce is 15.5 years old, Pedro is 12) are still keeping up for the most part.  They hobble up and down the many, many stairs, get several walks a day, and sleep the rest of the time.  Our cat Skylar is back with us again, which we are very happy about, though even that brings its share of new adjustments.

All of us (except Skylar the cat, who is inside hiding) on the front steps of our home in Alexandria, Virginia soon after moving in.  August, 2014

We live pretty close to Old Town Alexandria, which is full of 17th and 18th century buildings, history, and stories.  What a neat place to live!

I'm ready to be settled for a few years.  Two years here would be nice, three would be great, four might even get boring.  In time I will figure out career questions, Calvin will grow and start school full time, and we will have a whole new set of adventures. 

Bryan's orders say...

... we're heading back to Virginia!  Bryan's next assignment will be at the Pentagon.  We'll be moving this summer, probably in June.  We found a great townhouse in Kingstowne, Alexandria to rent that is close to the metro.  And we look forward to having guests, so if you are planning a trip to DC, look us up!

And we wait...

... and wait and wait to find out where Bryan's next assignment will be.  This year the Air Force is a bit behind in sending out orders for reassignment (for plenty of good reasons, I'm sure, but that doesn't make it any easier).  Last year they were signing orders up to 120 days before needing to move, but this year it has been bumped down to 60 days.  This means we won't have official notice of where we will be moving and living for the next 2, 3, maybe 4 years until (at best) 2 months prior to moving.  Yikes!  This is stressing us out!  It is hard enough to figure out where to live in a new city, finding a house to rent in a safe neighborhood with a good school district for pre-school/kindergarten/grade school when you have many months of notice.  But only two months... that will be a scramble.

And don't even get me started on a job search.  We have a guess as to where we will be moving to this summer and so I have begin a job search there, but it is difficult - I constantly bounce between getting excited about opportunities I find and then frustrated that I may be wasting my time searching in the wrong place/city/state.

We'll make it work, of course.  So long as we can schedule movers... which is a whole other issue, since hundreds of families (more than 500, I think) will be moving out of the Montgomery, Alabama area within the same few weeks.  That happens every summer, though, so I have to hope it won't be complete chaos.  Deep breaths.

In the mean time, I paint.  I have to stay busy or I will go insane. ;-)

Check out my creations at:
www.HokeilenArt.com
facebook.com/HokeilenArt
HokeilenArt.etsy.com
pinterest.com/HokeilenArt
YouTube channel: Hokeilen Art

These are some sketch paintings I did before beginning the paintings that I am currently working on.  I think this series will look really cool when complete.

Transformers and Spiders

As a kid, my sister, cousins, and I grew up in rural northwest Missouri.  We were surrounded by fields of clover and cows and cow patties, ponds with muddy banks and croaking frogs, barns to play in and (at my cousins' house) on the roof of.  We had plenty of tom-boy adventures, priding ourselves on being able to walk barefoot everywhere - on the gravel driveway, through the yard and the fields.  At least once a summer I ended up with a wasp sting (more often than not on the foot).  Bugs and snakes and spiders and frogs - all were (and still are!) interesting and normal parts of life, things to be watched and respected and appreciated but not feared.  Don't get me wrong, I spent plenty of time playing with dolls and animals and dress-up and other traditionally-girl things, and many days running screaming away from horse flies, because they really hurt when they bite you on the top of your head for no reason other than to be mean.  My point is, I consider myself to have a well-rounded upbringing, neither limited to just girl or boy toys and activities.  And I work hard to share that appreciation and sense of wonder about the world with Calvin. 

So when Calvin suggested the other day that we play "transformers" I stood a little stunned, suddenly completely at a loss at how you play transformers.  Granted it is way harder to play pretend as an adult, but I hold my own pretty well pretending to be superheros.  But transformers?  I don't remember ever playing transformers.  Just what does a transformer do other than transform from robot to vehicle?  I'm good, but not that good.

Calvin looked at me standing there and said "What's wrong, mommy?"  

Hmm... "I don't think I know how to play transformers, kiddo."

"Oh, its easy.  Just bend over like this and go..." and off he went.  "You be the firetruck transformer, mommy, and I'll be the helicopter."  And off we went.

All I needed to do was ask - he was happy to demonstrate. Turns out it wasn't really any different from superheros, which really isn't much different from pretending to be birds or dinosaurs or snakes, just all at different speeds and with a different dialog.  

Which brings me to last night's dinner.  It was left-over night and what Calvin settled on was spaghetti pasta with pesto sauce - pesto pasta, one of his favorites.  He was clearly not very hungry as his meal was lingering past ours, eating one noodle at a time.  Somehow his constant dialog drifted off to snakes, and then to what if there was a snake in his pasta, and then he was eating snakes and saying "yum, yum, yum".  Then we talked about what animals eat snakes (raccoons?), and what foods snakes eat (birds but not plants, for example).  Suddenly, Calvin made a big chomp, paused, and looked around with wide eyes.  "A snake just ate me!" he said.  "I'm inside a snake.  He ate you too, we're all inside the snake."  Looking all around, he said "its different in here, its squishy", and then he was up at the wall, pretending to squish it with his hands.  Back at the table we all started to sway back and forth as the snake started to wiggle along, and then, in true boy fashion, he said "Oh no, mommy, something is eating the snake.  He's going to eat us too.  Oh no, your face is cut in two!"  Umm... weird. 

Lately I've been thinking to myself that boys, and especially raising a boy, is waaaay different than being a girl.  I'm pretty sure that these scenarios didn't come up for me as a kid. 

Snow Fun in Missouri

We were fortunate to have a white Christmas again this year.  Living in Alabama, I was worried that our one trip north this winter would not coincide with a winter storm, but we lucked out.  It started snowing when we arrived, and stayed cold enough for the snow to not melt until the day before we left.  Perfect.

Three times we got bundled up and went out to play.  We got in some snow shoveling...

 ...tractor riding to help clear off the driveway...

...tractor playing (thank you, Santa Claus)...

...lots of sledding...

Calvin is demonstrating the brake on the sled he rode.

Calvin, walking the sled back up the hill.  The snow was melting fast on our last day out to play.

... a decent snow ball fight...

 ... lots of snow angels...

 ... snowman making, and all around snow fun.  Thank you, winter storm, for bringing snow to Missouri over Christmas.